Monthly Archives: October 2009

kata-kata sakti.

Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out, – that’s knowledge.

It’s in the time of unknowing that having faith is what sees you through to the other side. Faith is what gives you strength. Faith is that light in your heart that keeps on shining even when it’s all darkness outside.

Now is the time to keep that faith alive!

Kadang-kadang, bila kita sedih, mata kita jadi buta, hati jadi keras, fikiran jadi tak tentu. Kita lupa kita living dlm keadaan yg nyata, Now. Kita lupa orang sekeliling kerana kita fikir IT’S MY LIFE! Tapi kita lupa, dlm kita bersedih, ada orang lain yg perlukan keceriaan kita, who’s probably waiting for us to see the truth, whose future has us in it. InsyaAllah, kita boleh melalui masa-masa gelap. It takes time, slowly but surely..

bad news

over the weekend.

H’s childhood/best friend passed away over the weekend. In a flash. MD got into an accident over the causeway, went into coma, and passed on the next few hours. 😦 Just like that, a life was cut short.

MD had a wife and son, ard my lil one’s age. MD’s life was full of activities, ups and downs but definitely had a lot of things going on for him ahead. I know his death will have a huge impact on H cause MD had been there for him since they were little rebelious boys.

pray

A death this close to us is so scary. Life’s soo frugal. You can just be gone in a split second once HE decided.

Alfateha to MD. Semoga rohnya ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman. InsyaAllah.

16th, and W.>edge.

Had a small celebration for B at the office. Lil B is definitely not 16 but whaddaheck, we put Happy Sweet 16th for him and candles that counts 16. 🙂 That cute Secret Recipe Supervisor misspelled Singhy on our Choc Banana cake and it read singy insteads. Takpe. Nasib kau ni biskut orangnya. But i like that it says 16 and not 46. Haha.. Dunch be soo seriouss!

cake

A little meetup with the girls for dinner and talkthrough. Had dinner at B.st, met N.A.O’s familiar face, who’s married by today :/ Such awkward moments. But all’s good. Nice guy thou. 😉 We went on to W.E, which is a cool place to hang out btw. Hoping for more shopping shops once it’s 100% ready.

we

Talked about the upcoming drama event for the 2 girls that is fast approaching. Hope everything will go well for both of them at the heaven on earth. Nak ikot!! Can? Ok. Maybe dalam iman only. I wonder how can we allow so much drama to exist in our life! Too many to count. We are strong independent woman aren’t we? So, why do these dramas still exist? I know why. Because we allowed it to happen. Im not saying im blaming myself or us, but we are supposedly to be in control of our future. We chose the path we’re in sadly, not knowing what the future holds.

setting the record straight

I’ve finally get H to talk about what happened that day, the day that i snapped. I realised something. Men need few days to cool down and normally wont cool down at the same rate as us. We get mad as fast as we relaxed(with reasonings of course). But boys unfortunately dont. Neither will they want to talk about it after that. They think by them ‘cooling down’ will mean everything’s gonna be alright. Pftt. Errr not for us dudes. Sadly.

So, after the mussi ctr night outing with H, with cold talks, i decided that we’ve to talk it out coz i did gave him some ultimatums to think about. I called him out when we reached home to talk. He said he thought we were okay. I said obviously he didnt realised i was mad at him for number of reasons. I told him all the things i wish he could change and vice versa, but more from me of course. I told him i want a family man, not the way he is now. Surprisingly, he was very cooperative throughout the entire conversation. He was calm, he wass able to understand where i was going with, and he was able to take in criticisms and promised he’ll work it out, especially the part of not raking up the past issue.

Therefore, things are okay now with H n me. I am very glad. Because D is never an option for me. I threaten the man here and there but deep down, i know i can never leave the father of my child that easily.

holding-hands

He has started holding my hands when we walk.
He has started asking how my day went, hows work.
He kissed me when he thought i was fast asleep.
He pulled the blanket over me when he thought i was cold.

It’s sweet for now, i feel this guy is trying to woo me again. Maybe he’s afraid i’ll leave him again. Or maybe he realised he cant live without me. I dont know. I really dont know. I keep a safety net in my heart just in case this boy gets too comfortable again and start acting cuckoo all over again.

For now, i’ll enjoy my good days when it comes.

Hongkong, in a blink of an eye.

Made a short appearance today in Hongkong airport for work purposes. Took a ride in the cockpit for 3hr 30mins was definitely NOT a fun ride simply because, 1) u cant sleep, 2) u cant listen to your mp3, 3) the sun is too glaring in the cockpit thus i had the windscreen shut throughout the whole journey. therefore the only view i had in there was the First Officer’s back. :/ 4) Had to make sure i listened to the Captain’s briefings so have to stay awake and looked as if i was interested 5) i didnt get to eat because i was too shy to eat noisily in front of three crews.

Reached the airport at abt 1720pm, rush to the departure gate to board the flight home. Boarded the plane at 1745pm, and reached home at 2200pm. -_- Motherfucken penat siak! Hen said “Wah! Gi Hongkong mcm gi kedai mama bawah blk. Jealous seh!” . If only he knows..that going to kedai mama most likely wont be this tiring.

hkg

Worse! The journey back home was a bumpy one. Turbulances throughout and i had to fought back to not puke in the damn plane. Alone, having massive ugly headache and debating whether to just vomit out in the vomit bag, rush to the toilet or act gungho and keep it in. I chose the latter of course but my head was pumping. And then, i was given GREEN TEA! I HATE GREEN TEA!! 😦

But. I was upgraded to FIRST CLASS baybey!! Probably the only reason i love this job.

-_- i want to get my beauty sleep now. Such a bad day. Kepala pusing mcm gasing.

a dose of summer.

All 500 days of her.

Movie tagline: Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn’t. Ouch.
summer

The movie makes me feel shitty at the end of it. Thou the narrator did say, it’s not a love story, i’d hoped for a happily-ever-after ending. But no. It showed  realism in it and i want to see a fairytale ending. For Tom, that is. Just a typical girl who loves a happy ending in a movie. Is that so difficult to get?

*sigh* but the movie was good. I love it in another sense, if i put aside the truth and be a straight talking movie critic. Beautiful Zooey! I love her dressing sense! And her hair! And her eyes… And my, how Joseph Gordon-Levitt have grown into this potential lovey-dovey next door kinda hunk. 🙂 Not too Brad Pitt. Just nice.

But the movie makes me feel shitty. Damn.

about J

He was simply a perpetually happy person, and carried that happiness with him like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near him. Like an earthbound sun, whenever someone was within his gravitational pull, he warmed them.

A fictional character i know i can never find in the real world. I learn thru hard lessons, he can never be warm. He stays cold, not allowing me to get closer.

I’ve always hope J is real. All in the fantasy i create in the time of space moments i call my own. Someone who can warms me spiritually with just his aura. Make me happy when i feel sad. I know my capability of compartmentalising different moments can fail me at times i want it to fail. I want to mix fantasy with real world. I want to feel my feet being swept off every time they stood grounded.

I want my J. Real badly now.