Category Archives: requited

If He Wanted To Be With You, He Would Be With You

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It’s a hard pill to swallow. But the truth is going to heal your heart a lot faster than simply letting it break over and over until you finally face what you knew all along anyway:

If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

There are a million possible scenarios here. It’s easier when he’s an asshole – selfish, only thinking of himself, using you to make someone else jealous, using you in general, treating you poorly, crushing you thoughtlessly, whatever. But it’s a lot harder when he’s a good guy, and you still have to let him go. When he tells you that you’re an incredible person, but he just doesn’t feel the same way that you do. Or when he really likes you, but doesn’t think you’re the one. Or when he just doesn’t feel as strongly as you do and he wants to be honest. Or when he can’t seem to make up his mind and feels confused, which he doesn’t yet realize just means that he’s afraid of hurting you, that feeling ‘confused’ just a softer way of eventually saying ‘no.’ If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn’t have had to make up his mind in the first place. It would just be an answer that he felt deeply in his gut.

But regardless, whether he’s a wonderful guy or an asshole or somewhere in between, this is about you, moving on. Because no matter what the situation was, no matter how well he treated you or how much fun you had together or how well you got along, he doesn’t want to be with you. And that’s the truth. And that’s going to be your life raft for the next several weeks or months, no matter how much you don’t want to grab onto it. It is what is going to eventually help you come to peace with the end of your relationship, or the fizzling out of your fling, or the ‘no more talking’ after you guys spent so much time ‘talking.’ It is the truth, and as ugly as it is, it will be the only thing that can help you move on:

If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

It’s easy to try to soften the blow. He needs time, or he just needs a little space, or he’s just afraid of commitment and I just need to reassure him, or he builds walls and it’s my job to kick through them.

But think about the way you feel about him. How easy and natural and obvious it feels. How you don’t even need to question whether or not you should be with him, because it just feels right in your veins. How, even if you were scared of committing to someone or getting hurt or opening yourself up, you were still willing to do it, because your heart had already made up your mind. You wanted to be with him, so you were. The decision was simple. It really wasn’t even a decision at all.

Now can you imagine feeling all those things but choosing not to be with him anyway?

That’s why your heart is broken. Because he didn’t feel those things. He didn’t feel that same certainty that you did, deep in your bones. And you can’t change that, and you can’t fix yourself, and there’s nothing you did wrong. It’s just the truth. His heart didn’t make the decision for his brain, because his heart is in a different place from yours. And that really, really sucks. And you just have to accept it. And that sucks even more.

Maybe you’ll get over this in weeks, maybe months. Maybe longer. It will hurt, some days will be horrible and some will be okay. But the smallest of silver linings is this: you can let your heart break once – instead of breaking it a million times by convincing yourself that he’s making a mistake or he probably misses you or you should call him. Love yourself enough to be hard on yourself:

If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

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Filed under red seas, requited

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“I told him I loved him,” she said, her voice dropping to a whisper. “And he just said it wasn’t enough.” Her eyes were wide and bleak . “How am I supposed to live with that?”
Jojo Moyes, Me Before You

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Filed under requited

I haven’t been able to say it yet
When I see you, I act like nothing’s happened
like I have no interest
that’s how I’ve been

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Filed under play, raindrops, requited

“But that’s the charm right.. he is not your regular hero..

He doesn’t need to be a black or a white..because none of us are..

People can lie but even us in our real lives do that.. all of us must have been mean to someone, made fun of someone, participated in a malicious gossip at some time, really hated someone, must have tried to extract or thought of extracting revenge on someone…

So that’s that.. here is a personality type (..).. and we have an interesting universe of two relatively refreshing personalities..

As far as love goes.. for some weird reason.. you can have the most perfect guy around you..but you can end up falling for the most imperfect guy.. NOT sure if love is that chemical and biological (in theory yes.. but is that exactly how it realizes itself)… else a boy and a girl who are very very very good friends… will always go down the romance trajectory” – e.z

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Filed under raindrops, requited

Breaking. Bad.

One of the taboo in a marriage life is to ask, “Who is more important to you? The kid, or me?” It’s one of those questions that can have many different ways of answering, yet all will not end well.

This article discussed just that. I’m not too sure how to make of the article. Do I agree, or not? The author wrote this one, which I’m inclined to agree with him on this,

‘The child seemed to have taken over our lives, and, more painfully for me, taken away the woman I loved. I resented this howling little creature who left my wife exhausted, and me side-lined’

Not sure how H thinks, but this subject has been brought up before, ever so slightly. But we agree, with LT is taking over our live completely, we have been sneakily trying to find time to have a date night out. We are one of those lucky few who have understanding parents who can babysit LT.
But yeah, read on. Discuss with the spouse, Who gets thrown out of that hot air balloon when time comes to save lives, you or the kids.

Country music star Keith Urban recently spoke to the Australian Women’s Weekly about the love he has for his wife Nicole Kidman and their kids.

We’re very, very tight as a family unit and the children are our life, but I know the order of my love. It’s my wife and then my daughters. I just think it’s really important for the kids. There are too many parents who start to lose the plot a little and start to give all their love to the kids, and then the partner starts to go without. And then everybody loses. As a kid, all I needed to know was that my parents were solid.

Pure love. But yes, it came with a public outcry after the magazine came out. It was something seldom said. Something that seemed almost taboo. Imagine saying that you love your partner more than you love your child? Even if it’s true. And why do we as a society find that so hard to hear?

Now, question is.. do I love LT more than H?

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Filed under requited, rndm

A bad day, and a video to go along with it.

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It’s just a bad day,… not a bad life.

You know that there are days when things doesn’t seem to workout as it should, or when your hair just doesnt fall the way it should be, or a rushed morning where your planned outfit the night before didnt quite turned out as well as you thought it would, and in the end you ended up wearing another outfit you wore 2 nights ago. You know that kinda day? Yeah, I had that recently, where suddenly all things went wrong and everything was against your way. And then I feel like dying or just wana coop up in the room whole day(which is impossible of course when you had a kid who will every 5minutes came up and do a “i-want-to-snuggle-under-your-armpits”.

Then, I went to google some stuffs and this came up.

And then I realised, how trivial my problems are. And how close-minded and selfish I can be towards my problems and the way my life is right now. Im not making these things up, I really do feel enlightened in some way, and had a ‘slapped-across-my-cheeks’ moment after watching this video, and then some. My life ain’t shitty. It has some of its high points, and its low, but it’s alright. I mean im not suicidal because of my problems you know..

so, to qoute it right, it’s just a bad day, .. not a bad life.

POWER TO ME yeahh!

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Filed under raindrops, requited

That little boy

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Oh how the years go by,
Oh how time can certainly fly.
From once just a thought in far away dreams,
now into my arms and in my eyes gleam
the presence of you.
Your laughter and smiles
which go on for miles,
warms my heart and soul.
You’re growing up so fast,
as I wish each moment with you to last forever.
My little boy will someday be a man
and right by your side I will forever stand.
I will pick up the pieces when you fall,
I will hold your hand and help you stand tall.
And when the day comes when you are on your own,
never feel that you are alone.
No matter how near or far apart
I am always right there in your heart.
Always remember whatever you go through
that no matter what, I will always love you.
– Amy R. Campbell

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June 11, 2013 · 8:59 pm